Ep. 97: Doing it all is a myth! Here's what I do instead
[17 MIN LISTEN]
One of the questions I get asked most often is, “How do you do it all?”
The honest answer is: I don’t.
In this episode of The Life with Liz Podcast, I unpack the myth that success, motherhood, creativity, and personal fulfillment require doing everything at once. I share what my life actually looks like behind the scenes, including the boundaries I’ve learned to set, the choices I’ve made to simplify, and the systems that support me so I’m not running on constant overwhelm.
There was a time when I tried to do it all. I stretched myself thin, carried resentment, and believed that pursuing my dreams meant sacrificing peace. Over time, I realized I wasn’t failing. I was trying to live outside my capacity. The shift came when I stopped contorting my life to fit unrealistic expectations and started choosing what truly mattered.
This episode is about working smarter, not harder. It’s about letting yourself be human, honoring your season of life, and building a life that supports your energy instead of draining it. I also touch on automation, focus, and why simplifying your entry points for work and creativity can change everything.
If you’ve ever felt pressure to keep up, prove yourself, or hold it all together at the cost of your well-being, this conversation is for you.
Episode transcript:
This is an auto-generated, unedited episode transcript. Please excuse any tyops.
Hello, my dears. Before we get into today’s episode, I want to share something with you.
I originally planned to publish this next month as part of my New Year series. But when I finished recording it, something in me knew it needed to be out in the world now, before the year ends.
December brings up a lot. Pressure to finish strong. Guilt about what didn’t get done. The weight of responsibilities. That constant pull between wanting rest and feeling obligated to keep going.
So many women look around and quietly wonder, “How is everyone else doing it all? And why can’t I?”
This episode is the truth behind that question. It’s a conversation about capacity, boundaries, and the permission we all need to stop contorting ourselves into someone we’re not.
It’s one of the most honest and expansive conversations I’ve had on this podcast. If you’re listening in real time, I hope it lands like a soft exhale.
A reminder that you’re allowed to begin again in December, not just January. You’re allowed to choose yourself now. You’re allowed to release what no longer fits and build a life that actually supports you.
I’m really proud of this one. Let’s get into it.
Welcome to The Life with Liz Podcast, the place to be if you wanna go from invisible to vibrant in your life, and embrace the power you didn't know you had inside of you. I'm your host, Liz Fleming, business owner, mom, military spouse, entrepreneur, founder, CEO, and life coach, who is passionate about helping ambitious women like you step into their power and their purpose on purpose so they can experience as much joy, success, satisfaction, and abundance as humanly possible.
Now without further ado, let's dive right into this episode.
Welcome back to The Life with Liz Podcast. And yes, that was my new jingle.
I’m really glad you’re here.
Today’s episode comes from a question I’ve been getting a lot lately, especially since the book came out, Small Town Social has been growing, and I’ve been launching my workshop and The Self-Love Studio.
The question shows up in my DMs and emails all the time.
“Liz… how do you do it all?”
Every time someone asks me that, I laugh a little.
Because if you could see my life exactly as it is — the toddler chaos, preschool drop-offs, book deadlines, military schedules, naps that never last long enough — you’d know immediately that nothing about my life looks like “doing it all.”
There was a time when I tried. I really did.
I believed the version of me who could do everything was the version who deserved to succeed. I worked hard to dismantle that belief, to clear it from my energy and my expectations.
Today I want to talk about how untrue that belief was, what it cost me, and why the life I have now feels fuller, softer, and more aligned. Not because I’m doing more, but because I’m doing less with intention.
This is a grounded, honest conversation about capacity, boundaries, motherhood, ambition, and what it actually looks like to build something meaningful inside a real human life.
There was a stretch of time, especially in early motherhood, when I lived with this constant hum of pressure. It felt like a ringing in my ears.
My kids would finally fall asleep, and instead of resting, I’d try to squeeze five different roles into that small window. Coach. Creator. Writer. Homemaker. Business owner. All crammed into ninety frantic minutes before someone woke up crying or calling for me.
From the outside, it looked admirable. On the inside, it was exhaustion dressed up as discipline.
I had become a woman trying to do everything at once. A woman burning herself out trying to hold dreams alongside diapers and deployments. A woman who believed success required squeezing her life into a version that didn’t account for her actual reality.
And underneath it all, I was quietly resentful.
Not of my children. Not of my marriage.
I resented the impossible expectations I had placed on myself. I kept thinking, “If other women can do it all, why can’t I? Why do I have to give up my dreams?”
That question sat heavy in my chest.
Here’s the truth I couldn’t see then: I wasn’t failing. I was trying to live outside my capacity.
The moment I stopped contorting myself, stopped demanding that I operate beyond what my life, my psyche, and my energy could hold, everything changed.
Life didn’t suddenly become easier. But it softened. It began to flow again. It found a natural cadence.
And somehow, at the same time, everything expanded.
I finally allowed myself to be human inside my own life instead of operating like a machine that never powered down.
I often describe it like a robot vacuum bumping into the same wall over and over, or a video game character running endlessly into an obstacle. That was me. Not moving forward. Just creating my own suffering.
The real turning point came during the year I wrote my book.
I was on intense publishing deadlines. There was no room left to pretend I could do everything equally well. So I made a decision. The book came first.
I paused coaching. My content slowed down. Everything else waited.
My life didn’t suddenly get quiet. I still had toddlers climbing on me. I still wrote half-asleep some nights. But the resentment disappeared because I stopped asking myself to be ten people at once.
I was one woman in one season with one priority.
That season taught me something essential: focus isn’t restrictive. It’s liberating.
Choosing one thing didn’t shrink me. It stabilized me. Narrowing my focus didn’t lessen my ambition. It strengthened it.
I was finally working with my life instead of against it.
The version of me who used to work twelve-hour days and glorified burnout would never believe I’m saying this now. That’s how much has shifted.
I’ve talked a lot about boundaries on this podcast. When people ask how I do it all, the honest answer is that I say no. Often.
My boundaries aren’t harsh walls. They’re gentle guardrails. Supportive enough to keep me centered without cutting me off from life.
I don’t try to create deep content during the loudest hours of motherhood. I don’t overcommit because something sounds impressive. I don’t stretch myself just to prove I can.
And for the first time in my life, I don’t abandon myself.
I matter just as much as my children. Just as much as my marriage, my work, and my responsibilities.
For a long time, I carried the fear that motherhood or military life would swallow me whole. At times, it almost did.
So even when time was tight, I clung to whatever version of myself I could still hold. That devotion never left. What changed were my expectations.
I stopped forcing myself to move at a pace that didn’t match my season.
We’ve also been grieving this year. Life has handed us more than a few curveballs. That taught me to move fluidly, to match my energy to reality instead of resisting it.
When I did that, the anger and internal chaos quieted.
Now, let’s talk about the practical side.
I don’t run my business by waking up every day with a new to-do list. I run it through systems that support the life I actually have.
I think in sustainable pathways. In automation that frees me to be a mother, a partner, a human being. There is one primary place to work with me now: The Self-Love Studio.
Everything else flows toward that. The podcast. The workshop. The book. Small Town Social.
This is intentional. This is strategic. This is how I stay sane.
Automation handles nurturing so I’m not on my phone while cutting apples. Funnels guide people without requiring constant performance. Nothing is chaotic because everything is connected.
After fifteen years in marketing, I know confusion slows people down. Simplicity creates momentum.
This is working smarter. Not hacks. Not shortcuts. Just structure that honors your humanity.
Here’s the truth:
I don’t do it all. I do what matters for this season of my life.
I don’t move faster than my capacity. I don’t apologize for rest. I don’t pretend multitasking leads to fulfillment.
Some days are messy. Some days are beautiful. Most days are both.
But I’m not angry anymore. I’m not frantic. I’m not losing myself to productivity.
I’ve learned to hold my dreams without holding everything at once.
That’s how I “do it all.” By not doing it all.
If any part of you feels stretched thin or secretly resentful, hear this: nothing is wrong with you.
You’re human.
You’re not behind. You’re not failing. You’re simply living outside your capacity, and there is another way.
If you want a gentle place to start, watch The Self-Help Trap workshop. It’s a short reset to help you release pressure and find your way back to yourself.
And if you need more of this reminder, Powerhouse goes even deeper.
Thank you for being here. I see you. You’re doing far better than you think.
You don’t need to do it all. You only need to do what matters.
I’ll see you next week.
Did that go by too fast? No worries. You can always find me over at elisabethfleming.com for more information about my programs, events, and how you can take your learning further with me. If you loved this episode, leave a review. It helps more than you know.
Thank you so much for tuning in. I'll catch you next time.
Connect with Liz:
Watch Liz's FREE Workshop, Step Into Your Power:
Discover the 3 hidden patterns draining your energy and learn how to live start feeling like yourself again. Watch now at elisabethfleming.com/free-workshop.
Read Liz's Book:
Discover Liz’s bestselling book, Powerhouse: 3 Steps to Thrive as the Incredible Woman You Already Are — A Framework for Self-Love and Expansion: elisabethfleming.com/book
Resources:
Website: elisabethfleming.com/welcome
Instagram: @mslizfleming
Podcast: The Life with Liz Podcast
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