Ep. 81: Finding Purpose and Confidence as a Creator and Mom w/ Lindsay Swoboda

self-discoverypersonal growthbooks
Written By Elisabeth Fleming

[41 MIN LISTEN]

 

In this inspiring episode of The Life with Liz Podcast, we dive deep into what it really means to unpack your purpose and fully embrace the season of life you’re in — even when it doesn’t look like you imagined. Whether you’re a mom, creator, entrepreneur, or aspiring author, this conversation will help you silence self-doubt, overcome imposter syndrome, and push past the mom-guilt that too often holds us back from stepping into our calling.

You’ll walk away feeling empowered to navigate unexpected life circumstances with courage and clarity, plus you’ll get the number one piece of advice for how to share your story, unleash your creativity, and finally write the book that’s been on your heart. Tune in and get ready to be reminded that your purpose matters, your story matters, and now is the time to live it out fully.

In this episode, you’ll learn:

  • How to unpack your purpose for the season of life you’re in and embrace it fully

  • Real strategies for navigating imposter syndrome, mom-guilt, and curveballs as a creator

  • The #1 piece of advice for sharing your story, unlocking creativity, and writing your own book someday

  • Encouragement to trust your journey and take the next step with confidence

  • Why your voice, ideas, and experiences are needed — now more than ever

Lindsay Swoboda is the author of Holding On & Letting Go: A Life in Motion (Memoir, May 2025). A military spouse, Lindsay lives and creates alongside her husband and two kids in Texas. Her work has been featured in numerous publications, including Legacy Magazine, Coffee + Crumbs, The Line Literary Review, and Books Make a Difference magazine. Lindsay developed The Work of Words Writing Workshop with Legacy Magazine to champion military and service families to write their stories in an intimate, safe, and engaging setting. Her Substack, The Eleven O’Clock Number, explores the art of what matters most. Lindsay believes in the power of storytelling and loves encouraging and connecting with fellow creatives.

If you’re ready to reclaim your purpose, overcome doubt, and get clear on your next creative step, this episode is for you!

Episode transcript:

This is an auto-generated, unedited episode transcript. Please excuse any tyops.

Welcome to The Life with Liz Podcast, the place to be if you wanna go from invisible to vibrant in your life, and embrace the power you didn't know you had inside of you. I'm your host, Liz Fleming, business owner, mom, military spouse, entrepreneur, founder, CEO, and life coach, who is passionate about helping ambitious women like you step into their power and their purpose on purpose so they can experience as much joy, success, satisfaction, and abundance as humanly possible.

Now without further ado, let's dive right into this episode.

Liz Fleming: welcome. Lindsay. Swoboda is in the House. We're so happy to have you on the life with liz Podcast.

7 00:00:15.240 --> 00:00:25.160 Lindsay Swoboda: Yay, thank you so much for having me. I just need you to know that your podcast. Has been helping me get home from Co-OP. So thank you.

8 00:00:25.160 --> 00:00:25.840 Liz Fleming: Hello!

9 00:00:25.840 --> 00:00:26.840 Lindsay Swoboda: You in my car.

10 00:00:26.840 --> 00:00:28.770 Liz Fleming: I didn't know you. Listen! That makes me feel.

11 00:00:28.770 --> 00:00:33.570 Lindsay Swoboda: Yeah, toot toot on in. My, you know, big mom, Van.

12 00:00:33.960 --> 00:00:34.290 Liz Fleming: Oh, my God!

13 00:00:34.290 --> 00:00:38.057 Lindsay Swoboda: Flying down the highways of Texas with your with your voice.

14 00:00:38.400 --> 00:00:43.119 Liz Fleming: I love it. Oh, that's so sweet. Thank you for listening. And

15 00:00:43.300 --> 00:00:48.769 Liz Fleming: yeah, that that's amazing. I don't often hear that from people, you know, just in passing, but

16 00:00:48.920 --> 00:01:03.550 Liz Fleming: the numbers are growing. It's a very exciting time for this little engine that could, and I'm so honored for you to be a part of the journey, too, and to have you here and chat through your new book, which we're so excited about. Oh, my goodness!

17 00:01:03.550 --> 00:01:17.360 Lindsay Swoboda: Yes, we are. My goodness, we're one. You're like my official, like the one week away from the official launch date right? Like we had launch date on May 6. And now we're a week later, depending on who listens. And it's a whole new ball game now, like it's.

18 00:01:17.360 --> 00:01:19.529 Liz Fleming: Oh, new world! We love it.

19 00:01:19.530 --> 00:01:20.310 Lindsay Swoboda: It is.

20 00:01:20.310 --> 00:01:31.989 Liz Fleming: Book life. So before we go, get too far ahead of ourselves, why don't you just let everyone know who you are, and what your magical superpowers are.

21 00:01:32.260 --> 00:01:38.620 Lindsay Swoboda: Sure. So my name is Lindsay. Swobota, and I have been a Marine Corps spouse

22 00:01:38.920 --> 00:01:51.240 Lindsay Swoboda: for the past 17 years coming up in December. Wow! That's a whole situation right there, because I met my husband when we were 17 years old. So now to be married for the same length as when we met each other is pretty crazy.

23 00:01:51.330 --> 00:02:13.459 Lindsay Swoboda: but all that to say yes, being a military spouse has been a huge part of my journey. But now I'm also stepping into the role of author. I just finished launching my book called Holding on and letting Go a life in motion which really captures our journey as a military family, but is also about the tension of

24 00:02:13.610 --> 00:02:21.709 Lindsay Swoboda: holding grief and goodness, the good things and the bad together simultaneously, and moving through them. The best that we can.

25 00:02:21.770 --> 00:02:46.230 Lindsay Swoboda: sharing all of our stories from my life before getting married, which was as a professional dancer, I worked for carnival cruise lines and then carried that over into work as an instructor. And then it's only been probably in the past 10 years that I did a career pivot, and I am now a writer, author, editor, and yeah, I think that journey on the stage really informed the process

26 00:02:46.780 --> 00:03:01.449 Lindsay Swoboda: that I do now with storytelling. So it's just been a whole adventure. And now we're kind of like figuring out what our next steps are. As my husband faces retirement in September.

27 00:03:01.450 --> 00:03:21.450 Lindsay Swoboda: So after just yeah, years and years of moving. Everybody was always like, How do you move so much? And I'm like how I don't know how you stay. So now I bought a plant, and we like went and picked up half of a cow from a local farm. And so these are my 1st steps to staying put.

28 00:03:21.450 --> 00:03:48.780 Liz Fleming: Oh, my goodness! Well, a congratulations on all the things! And B. What a beautiful summary of your metamorphosis! It's I love hearing where people's stories naturally flow, and yours is just, has such a beautiful cadence. I'm really happy for you, and where you are and for everyone listening, Lindsey and I met God 2 years ago, 3.

29 00:03:48.780 --> 00:03:50.640 Lindsay Swoboda: Yeah, I think so, maybe 3.

30 00:03:50.640 --> 00:03:54.100 Liz Fleming: Maybe 3, because I had just had Hudson.

31 00:03:54.300 --> 00:04:10.910 Liz Fleming: And yeah, yeah, I think it was 3 years ago. I just had the Hudson, and I was kind of going through like my spiritual awakening, and I got like this overwhelming feeling that I was supposed to like write for fun again, and I went to

32 00:04:11.090 --> 00:04:17.492 Liz Fleming: the resources that I knew. Legacy Magazine, which you are an editor for, and

33 00:04:18.220 --> 00:04:20.770 Liz Fleming: You were hosting the work of words workshop.

34 00:04:21.399 --> 00:04:29.379 Liz Fleming: and I just like no questions asked was like, Take my money, I'm in, and for I forget how many weeks it was 5 or 6 weeks.

35 00:04:29.380 --> 00:04:38.379 Lindsay Swoboda: It was 6. Yeah, it's a long, I mean, like, it's a longer commitment in today's world. But yet I feel like that's the time you need to, like trust, fall into each other.

36 00:04:38.610 --> 00:04:42.630 Liz Fleming: That's a great way to put it. I, 100% trust fell into that experience.

37 00:04:43.820 --> 00:04:50.059 Liz Fleming: But the the point of me telling this story is that that's how we connected. And

38 00:04:50.220 --> 00:05:11.379 Liz Fleming: we both, I mean, just going through that program together in community with other writers who were just dabbling. And you were way more seasoned than I was as a writer. You had published works and all that, but I feel like it really sparked a fire in both of us, because you got back into your book from from that experience, or you had already.

39 00:05:11.380 --> 00:05:35.620 Lindsay Swoboda: Well, I was like dabbling back into the book at that point, but I feel like work of words was like the connect the dot moment for me where I was like starting to share more of our family's journey. And these chapters I had written right, and was sort of like testing them on the audience being like tap, tap, tap, you know, does this resonate? And and the feedback, of course, from others like no creative project, makes itself.

40 00:05:35.690 --> 00:06:03.400 Lindsay Swoboda: you know, by yourself, like either, either, even when you're the person sitting in the chair writing. Yes, there's a lot of solo time doing that, and a lot of solo determination that goes into like showing up to the page. But it's others, I think, for me that have always like pushed the dial that much further, and whether it be through encouragement of someone saying like, Get back after it, or whether it be a group of people reading your work that are kind and generous with their commentary, and like helping you

41 00:06:03.400 --> 00:06:08.599 Lindsay Swoboda: make it. That much better like that is such a key component to me.

42 00:06:08.860 --> 00:06:22.319 Liz Fleming: Yeah. And it's not often that you get that kind of constructive feedback which is what I was so intrigued by. I was like, am IA writer? Am IA good writer like I've always been told I'm a writer. But like, is it real? You know I needed that.

43 00:06:22.320 --> 00:06:22.990 Lindsay Swoboda: I like.

44 00:06:22.990 --> 00:06:37.110 Liz Fleming: External validation, I guess, and I can't remember if it was like the 1st or second week. But I really just like threw my heart on the page per your guidance and recommendations, and

45 00:06:37.290 --> 00:06:46.039 Liz Fleming: what I came up with ended up being like the the forward for my book that I'm now publishing and like, it's just amazing to see

46 00:06:46.160 --> 00:07:08.030 Liz Fleming: our journey together. And I just want everyone to just just know that this has only happened because we were open to the experience right? And where we most deeply connected was, you know, the military spouse community, and that's what at the time Legacy Magazine was, for I think it still very much is right. Yeah.

47 00:07:08.030 --> 00:07:35.819 Lindsay Swoboda: Yes, it definitely is so for service families. They we just haven't put out like a print one in a while, because print right now we won't even get into that, but still glad to serve others with stories. I mean, I think that's the backbone, too, of like figuring out your journey as a writer, and those that maybe want to write. It's figuring out like what you want to say. And then it's figuring out, how do you want it to change your reader, you know. How do you want to cheer for that person that's going to pick up your words?

48 00:07:36.480 --> 00:07:50.080 Lindsay Swoboda: That's a really important thing I think, to like, move it from when it moves, from journaling to a piece that someone's going to read. You really want to think about, who's picking that up, and what you want them to glean

49 00:07:50.310 --> 00:07:51.499 Lindsay Swoboda: from your work.

50 00:07:51.640 --> 00:08:02.560 Lindsay Swoboda: So that's a gen like, it becomes a generous offering more than like a here's what I have to say. You know, it's like, Okay, here's what I have to say. But here's how I hope it might move you.

51 00:08:02.770 --> 00:08:29.409 Liz Fleming: And it's such a gift to yourself to like. Unpack your creativity in that way. Which is what I was trying to do. I had, like no agenda other than to just explore it, and the resources and the connections that I made from that program, which was, it was 6 weeks, and we had our meeting times and our homework. But it was like also very much self paced. Because I think you guys understood that like.

52 00:08:29.650 --> 00:08:36.839 Lindsay Swoboda: Life happens. Yes, that was a huge caveat. Anytime. I like lead a workshop, or if I pick that back up again and lead again. I'm always like.

53 00:08:37.140 --> 00:08:43.249 Lindsay Swoboda: listen, life is lifing, you know. I mean, even for me. In this past week, when we had

54 00:08:43.520 --> 00:08:56.990 Lindsay Swoboda: book launch season and we had the retirement ceremony for Ryan on Friday, and then we had book launch party on Saturday. My son took a flying leap off of play equipment and fractured his arm like at the end of the party, and I was like.

55 00:08:56.990 --> 00:08:57.420 Liz Fleming: Oh!

56 00:08:57.420 --> 00:08:58.060 Lindsay Swoboda: Of course.

57 00:08:58.210 --> 00:09:14.669 Lindsay Swoboda: of course, this is what this is, right in the middle of the season. And yet there's been something really beautiful about that to be like, Hey, this is a reminder that, like no matter, we have big, little small, significant, whatever the thing is that going on for you like there is always more still happening

58 00:09:14.670 --> 00:09:29.800 Lindsay Swoboda: in the background, right that people may or may not be privy to. And it really made me slow down even last week, where I was kind of like in the crunch of needing to launch the book, still needing to slow down and make sure my son was.

59 00:09:29.900 --> 00:09:37.560 Lindsay Swoboda: you know, being poised to be successful before he could get his hard cast on. So all of those things are just always overlapping, and

60 00:09:37.560 --> 00:10:01.919 Lindsay Swoboda: I feel my place in the journey of creativity right now is I'm a little more relaxed about it. I'm not as I'm not gripping it so tightly. I am. Let me not say that I'm not. I don't still do it because I do. I hold it very tightly, but I can. I'm a more aware that I'm like trying to control it and holding it super tightly, and have an easier time like prying my fingers off of the process to be like, okay.

61 00:10:02.040 --> 00:10:04.549 Lindsay Swoboda: you know this is where you

62 00:10:05.000 --> 00:10:10.429 Lindsay Swoboda: release this work that you worked on, and you see where it falls. And

63 00:10:11.030 --> 00:10:19.092 Lindsay Swoboda: I think as long as you have peace in the process of knowing like, did you do everything you wanted to do leading up to letting it go?

64 00:10:19.530 --> 00:10:26.339 Lindsay Swoboda: Then I think you can say like, Yes, okay from here on. It's like no longer mine. Everyone else's.

65 00:10:26.600 --> 00:10:55.480 Liz Fleming: It's just such a big moment. Yeah, and surrendering to the entire process, you know which, as military spouses we're very familiar with that. But when it comes to yeah, like anything that you've created for the world that's like, that's another ball game. And I think with with writers and aspiring writers, the people who have always had, like publishing a book or writing a book on their vision board. What

66 00:10:56.030 --> 00:11:13.729 Liz Fleming: trips them up the most is they're trying to wait for that ideal time where they're free. And they have the moments. And it's just if you really really long for it and desire for that to happen for you. You just have to do it imperfectly, and

67 00:11:14.040 --> 00:11:25.850 Liz Fleming: I mean same for me, you know, just like flung myself into the experience and found I made the time to to create in the pockets of imperfection.

68 00:11:26.220 --> 00:11:40.749 Lindsay Swoboda: Absolutely. I love that. You're sharing that because one of the things I've tried to be the most transparent about, like one of the most fun things about making like launching the book last week was I like, sat down and wrote an entire post for substack on like, how did this book happen?

69 00:11:40.750 --> 00:11:41.220 Liz Fleming: Yeah.

70 00:11:41.220 --> 00:12:10.140 Lindsay Swoboda: Had to be and was really honest with like, Okay, it is memoir category. So I had to live it. You know, I'm 39 years old, and then also, okay, when did we start writing this? Oh, 7 years ago, 7 years ago, and started writing it before there was an agent or a publisher, or anybody involved in it just knew I wanted to work through these stories that I had and see what happened. And then it wasn't until

71 00:12:10.140 --> 00:12:31.219 Lindsay Swoboda: I started writing it, and then I set it down because we Pcs. We moved again from Ecuador to Virginia, and then, of course, I was pregnant with our second child. And then the pandemic hit. And it was like, Okay, I have to set this down and and not unwillingly. It's interesting. Somebody asked me the other day, like.

72 00:12:32.290 --> 00:12:52.940 Lindsay Swoboda: you know, didn't wasn't that really hard for you to set it down? And at the time it felt like a grief, and it also felt like a relief to say, like, I'm going to come back to this. I just really feel like I will. It's just not time for me yet, and then I'm glad that I waited, because the last few chapters in the book are about that season that I needed to live first.st

73 00:12:53.220 --> 00:12:57.230 Lindsay Swoboda: It was the of the best ending right? Because there's this

74 00:12:57.360 --> 00:13:20.000 Lindsay Swoboda: tendency to want to tie the story in the bow and like, Oh, we're retiring, and like we're riding off into the sunset. But that's actually not what's happening. We're still challenged by new trials every day, and we're going to have to learn a whole new way of living that isn't active duty, life. And so it was far more authentic to like, live that process and then have to write it and say.

75 00:13:20.330 --> 00:13:24.999 Lindsay Swoboda: I don't know what's next. All I know is what I know right now, and that is that

76 00:13:25.400 --> 00:13:30.490 Lindsay Swoboda: I'm going to have to keep embracing change, because that's the inevitable factor.

77 00:13:31.200 --> 00:13:47.629 Liz Fleming: Yeah, and following your intuitive feelings to, you know, like you said, slow down and pause as needed life happens. I mean, I can't believe that you have a child that just fractured a bone because I have a child that just fractured a bone

78 00:13:48.630 --> 00:13:52.780 Liz Fleming: like we just got her cast off. She also fell at the playground, and.

79 00:13:52.780 --> 00:13:53.320 Lindsay Swoboda: Oh!

80 00:13:53.320 --> 00:14:19.770 Liz Fleming: So. And I mean this trying to get an interview for us together is a prime example, too. We've been trying to do it since January, and life has lifed. It's just been like one thing after another. But what I love is that we both get that you know as much as an inconvenience. That stuff can be. It's like, you know. Take care of yourself. Take care of your family like this will always be here, and

81 00:14:19.880 --> 00:14:21.459 Liz Fleming: I think if you

82 00:14:21.710 --> 00:14:36.820 Liz Fleming: keep what you're so passionate about, and that conscious awareness state for yourself, like it'll never just go away. It'll just evolve which is what you're saying a prime example with how you wrote your book and your sub stack last week was so good. By the way.

83 00:14:36.820 --> 00:14:38.290 Lindsay Swoboda: Oh, thank you!

84 00:14:38.290 --> 00:14:38.790 Liz Fleming: It was.

85 00:14:38.790 --> 00:14:41.239 Lindsay Swoboda: Like such a gift to finally

86 00:14:41.420 --> 00:14:52.389 Lindsay Swoboda: kind of sit down and carve through the process, and I just want to be as like again, as honest as possible with people that are like, well, how do you do this? And you're like it doesn't. We all know things don't happen overnight.

87 00:14:52.490 --> 00:15:10.749 Lindsay Swoboda: but I think it's another thing to say that out loud and be really transparent about the process, and also say to people like, it's you're really going to feel defeated about it sometimes. There is before even the book, you know, before I even had the contract you're like, is this worth doing like you have this inward battle that you're like? I'm not.

88 00:15:10.770 --> 00:15:33.850 Lindsay Swoboda: you know, getting compensated for this. I'm what am I doing like? Is this a waste of my time? And only you can answer that for yourself. But I, coming from the dance background, know that, like creative work, just takes the time it takes. And I also know that, like all those hours that I was writing things, especially things that didn't make it into the book

89 00:15:33.850 --> 00:15:55.399 Lindsay Swoboda: were the dress rehearsal. They were rehearsal hours where you were trying to craft this message, and figure out what parts of it were for me, and what parts of it were for the reader to receive and really trying to unpack all of that, it just takes time, and it's not glamorous time, and it's not like a 10 second reel you can make. And it's so.

90 00:15:55.400 --> 00:15:55.770 Liz Fleming: Good.

91 00:15:55.770 --> 00:16:19.660 Lindsay Swoboda: And no, it's just like a lot of sweatpants, and like empty coffee cups and sitting like your typewriter wondering if typewriter type, whatever whatever you're working on, typewriter sounds so romantic. You're sitting there writing away, wondering if it's ever going to be anything, and that is hard. I mean, that is like we were talking about trust balls earlier. It's a trust ball to like. Continue to believe in yourself and the message that you have.

92 00:16:20.190 --> 00:16:23.389 Liz Fleming: Hmm, yeah. And what I love about it, too, is.

93 00:16:24.520 --> 00:16:43.889 Liz Fleming: and I didn't realize how much this was the case, at least for me. Let me know if it's the case for you. But you're we're honing our craft as writers and creators. But we're also healing because we're you know, as people we're healing as humans in this process as well like, I didn't realize how

94 00:16:44.070 --> 00:16:59.240 Liz Fleming: therapeutic writing this book would be for me. I in the back of my head. I was thinking the same things like, I'm not doing this for money. I'm just want to help people. And then the more I wrote I was like, Oh, my gosh! I finally something about it being on the page. It's just.

95 00:16:59.860 --> 00:17:01.220 Lindsay Swoboda: Hope you let it go.

96 00:17:01.220 --> 00:17:01.770 Liz Fleming: Yeah.

97 00:17:01.770 --> 00:17:22.670 Lindsay Swoboda: Like you get to look at yourself. I. And we did this in the work of words class. It's also like I think they use it in therapy, guys. I'm not a therapist for a counselor, but I know that some of them use the technique where you write from. Write about yourself from a 3rd person perspective, because it helps you kind of zoom out. And I would say whether you're using that technique or not, putting your

98 00:17:22.900 --> 00:17:49.610 Lindsay Swoboda: whatever it is on the page that you're trying to get out. It does help you zoom out and look at it from a gentler point of view, or at least it did for me. I mean, there were pieces of this story that were very challenging to write, because they were still so emotionally heavy for me to carry, and yet getting to craft them onto the page. And for a story, and for someone else to find hopefully something in there. For them, too.

99 00:17:49.610 --> 00:18:04.129 Lindsay Swoboda: It was a huge and beautiful release process like I just, I'll always be so thankful for that this time that I've spent writing through our experience because it helped me gain a lot of clarity on it, too.

100 00:18:05.050 --> 00:18:19.120 Liz Fleming: We love hearing that, and we're so lucky to to have those words of yours in the world. So what an honor! So why don't you tell us a bit more about the book itself, holding on and letting go a life in motion? What's it about.

101 00:18:19.350 --> 00:18:23.489 Lindsay Swoboda: Okay, what is it about? I mean, it is about my life which is so fun

102 00:18:23.490 --> 00:18:39.320 Lindsay Swoboda: to like. Say that it does start with very young, which I was nervous about even working with the editor. I was like, you know, a lot of the things I've read about memoir. It needs to be a like more concentrated period of time, you know, like a shorter period of time, that you're with the person. And she was like that. Doesn't

103 00:18:39.390 --> 00:18:43.090 Lindsay Swoboda: that doesn't work for all of them. And she was like, I think, if we skip these

104 00:18:43.120 --> 00:18:57.639 Lindsay Swoboda: early years of your life, you're not going to have a greater understanding of the choices you made. So it kicks off with the forward is about the children's book going on a bear hunt.

105 00:18:57.640 --> 00:19:19.500 Lindsay Swoboda: which, if you haven't read that book. They come across all these obstacles, which is like the long wavy grass and the muddy, the mud pit that they have to walk through in the forest that's tripping them up and in every page, and I'm probably not going to say it right now, but they say, like we can't go over it. We can't go around it. We have to go through it.

106 00:19:19.600 --> 00:19:31.140 Lindsay Swoboda: And so that was kind of the theme that kicked off that kicks off the book and is carried all the way through. It's like you don't always have. We've become such like a clickbait society where we're like, oh.

107 00:19:31.300 --> 00:19:51.559 Lindsay Swoboda: 10 steps to this 5 steps to this 3 ways to hack whatever, and I don't think we can hack our way, nor do we want to hack our way through our life. I think we really want to show up to it as present as we can in whatever circumstances we find ourselves in, and not have any of the tools potentially to get through that circumstance, but have to be

108 00:19:52.300 --> 00:20:12.989 Lindsay Swoboda: gaining them or losing them as we walk through those seasons. So that to me is what it's about. I've had other friends read it that are like this is really about community and friendship, and others that are like. This is how I feel in a Pcs season. So I really just tried to be like, write the book I wanted as a spouse, and as someone that was moving constantly

109 00:20:13.100 --> 00:20:19.500 Lindsay Swoboda: to say, there's also permission to enjoy our story right here, the way that it is

110 00:20:20.080 --> 00:20:41.489 Lindsay Swoboda: and I really feel like I did that in every season in every place we lived. One of the unique parts of our story is the fact that I was a dancer before we were married, but also the fact that Ryan's career took us overseas. For almost 10 years we did 5 back to back overseas moves, and we've been on every continent but Antarctica. So

111 00:20:41.490 --> 00:20:57.740 Lindsay Swoboda: it's fun to travel through the book with us. If you are someone that loves world travel because we are in a lot of unique circumstances and situations, but also the interesting pivot there of understanding. Like you're not visiting that country. There's a really different

112 00:20:57.960 --> 00:21:06.840 Lindsay Swoboda: skill set that develops when you are not a visitor to a foreign land. You are the foreigner in the foreign land.

113 00:21:07.050 --> 00:21:10.280 Lindsay Swoboda: trying to figure out what your purpose there is.

114 00:21:10.540 --> 00:21:17.540 Lindsay Swoboda: and that is a lot of what I was doing as well, was trying to figure out how to recreate purpose for myself in every place we were.

115 00:21:18.060 --> 00:21:23.739 Liz Fleming: That must have been so eye-opening and just wow! I mean.

116 00:21:24.820 --> 00:21:30.939 Liz Fleming: it leaves me speechless because I've molded that over many times, like we are in a beautiful

117 00:21:31.180 --> 00:21:54.299 Liz Fleming: position where we haven't had to move. I met Sean very late in his career, and he's already done all that, and he knew that when we had babies like he was going to do everything he could to to stay put, and I had always kind of mentally prepared myself for I hate to call it the worst, because it probably would have been a cool experience, but for me it was like, I have.

118 00:21:54.300 --> 00:22:02.459 Liz Fleming: I have a life here. I have a business here that can't move with me. It literally serves like the women of this whole area. So

119 00:22:02.660 --> 00:22:22.240 Liz Fleming: it really puts things into perspective. And as someone who, you know you have done it so many times, and have had to grow through that, and navigate that with as much as you can with your spouse and your family, but with yourself. What a transformational time of your life! Wow!

120 00:22:22.240 --> 00:22:25.620 Lindsay Swoboda: Yeah, I feel like one of the talks I just gave a military.

121 00:22:26.220 --> 00:22:31.129 Lindsay Swoboda: It was for the Independent Wellness Summit. We I did a talk called. Nothing is wasted.

122 00:22:31.460 --> 00:22:56.379 Lindsay Swoboda: and I said, like the connecting to purpose in every season, like there was a lot of times I felt like I was on a forced Sabbatical where we moved. And a prime example of this is when we moved to Korea. The status forces agreement is still. I don't. I don't want to give anybody poor information. But it was going on while I was there, which meant that if you were sponsored to be there as a spouse by your, you know.

123 00:22:56.450 --> 00:22:58.677 Lindsay Swoboda: active duty person.

124 00:22:59.470 --> 00:23:19.800 Lindsay Swoboda: Then you could not work out in the country and make money off of the economy in the same way. So you were restricted by work. This is also guys like I didn't like. I picked up a smartphone for the 1st time in Korea. So this is many moons ago. Let's be honest. Things might have changed, but you could work on base

125 00:23:19.800 --> 00:23:29.740 Lindsay Swoboda: the hiccup with that was like, how long is it going to take you to get all the right things like in a row to work on the base. So at that moment I was 25.

126 00:23:29.790 --> 00:23:42.330 Lindsay Swoboda: We didn't have any kids and weren't ready to do that any like yet for ourselves. And I had come from working for carnival cruise lines. We've moved to California.

127 00:23:42.530 --> 00:23:57.499 Lindsay Swoboda: I'm grieving the loss of this performance job, even though I'm ready to be with Ryan and like ready for this marriage to like. Let's do this. He was okay with me, taking other performance contracts. But I was like, I don't know. We've already spent like the 1st 9 months of our marriage apart, because he was deployed.

128 00:23:57.500 --> 00:24:16.880 Lindsay Swoboda: So I was like, we're going to figure out how to do this. So I worked at 2 performing arts academies that I just loved there in California right in time to leave again and go to Korea and then be back to square one. And that's the humbling part is you're like I've moved here. I love you like, I know this is where you need to be. This is where your job's taken us.

129 00:24:16.990 --> 00:24:32.319 Lindsay Swoboda: But I used to sit at coffees on base with like brilliant teachers and nurses and people that were like, well, Matt, what do we do? We're just here drinking coffee like what's enough for us at this moment. And so that's that for sabbatical. I'm talking about where you're like.

130 00:24:32.380 --> 00:24:57.130 Lindsay Swoboda: Okay, I have these skill sets. I'd like to use them. But yet this is where we're at. So that's that that opportunity, though, where you're like. Do you stay bitter? What do you choose? Do you get resentful. Do you have those feelings and acknowledge them, and then say, Okay, I got to move through them and like, figure out what this next thing is. So I applied to be a contractor on base there. It took them 9 months

131 00:24:57.400 --> 00:25:07.599 Lindsay Swoboda: to run all the background checks and just get their ducks in a row to get me into a position, and during that time I got on the subway probably every day, and just would like pop up

132 00:25:07.600 --> 00:25:31.089 Lindsay Swoboda: at different locations and wander the city and invite spouses to come join me. And I went to a Korean dance studio, and I had a great time. I mean, like looking back. You're like you embraced it. You had a great time. I met like an expat theater company that was like people that wanted to do theater in English together. From all these different countries we did several performances throughout the city together. Experiences I never would have had

133 00:25:31.370 --> 00:25:33.430 Lindsay Swoboda: had I not been forced

134 00:25:33.710 --> 00:25:51.890 Lindsay Swoboda: to not do what I was doing. And then once I did get hired and I opened a program under the child use Services Center on base. Then I was just like that was over the popping off of subways and being able to do what I wanted was gone because I was working just hours and hours per week.

135 00:25:52.240 --> 00:25:54.579 Lindsay Swoboda: I'm so I'm so thankful that

136 00:25:54.850 --> 00:25:58.989 Lindsay Swoboda: while it was a hard season of not doing something.

137 00:25:59.650 --> 00:26:27.210 Lindsay Swoboda: you weren't ever, really not doing something, you found other opportunities, and I got to travel like I never would have before that timeframe. So I guess that's just one example of that kind of like. Oh, you know it's not wasted, because what I picked up from traveling around Korea on my own gave me like a different boldness in all these other countries I've lived of being like your your experience isn't just going to happen for you. You're going to have to like, walk out the door and see what the place has to offer you.

138 00:26:28.520 --> 00:26:38.519 Liz Fleming: And I love, you know the culmination of all of your travel and all of those experiences is why you're right here right now with a published book about your journey.

139 00:26:38.780 --> 00:26:40.040 Lindsay Swoboda: Yeah, that's right.

140 00:26:40.040 --> 00:26:40.890 Liz Fleming: Yeah.

141 00:26:41.140 --> 00:26:53.109 Lindsay Swoboda: Yeah, you've got to be like open hands, I guess, is the biggest thing like we were talking about earlier, like trying not to like, clench our fists about stuff. Say, like man, I'm gonna grieve. The fact that this isn't what I thought it would be.

142 00:26:53.460 --> 00:26:55.759 Lindsay Swoboda: But what else is possible? Here.

143 00:26:56.030 --> 00:27:21.150 Liz Fleming: Yeah, releasing control and just letting the the process flow. I sound so crunchy. But it's true. It's just like you can only control so much as a creative. And I'm fully surrendered to that process now. And it sounds like you have to over all of these years. So and I love how you put it to having purpose in different season seasons of life

144 00:27:21.150 --> 00:27:30.330 Liz Fleming: which really resonates with me, because, as a mom to a 3 and a half year old and a 2 year old. I all I want to do is

145 00:27:30.330 --> 00:27:42.269 Liz Fleming: you know what I want to do, but it's like I'm constantly being for lack of a better term. I'm held back because I'm their life horse energy. I'm needed elsewhere for good reason.

146 00:27:42.290 --> 00:27:57.870 Liz Fleming: So I feel right now like my purpose in life is just prioritizing them and my stillness, and like seeing what comes from that. But I totally get what you're saying when it's like, oh, I just

147 00:27:58.272 --> 00:28:03.750 Liz Fleming: like create the things and do the things. But I don't have 20 min at my desk.

148 00:28:03.750 --> 00:28:14.409 Lindsay Swoboda: Oh, my gosh! So much so. I have been laughing and crying, you know, just that whole season, because from January forward, my sweet 4 year old. Hunter has just been waking up.

149 00:28:15.750 --> 00:28:27.040 Lindsay Swoboda: just waking up so early. And as a mom, and as a creative, you know, that is like the morning time is my best time. Everybody has the best time.

150 00:28:27.751 --> 00:28:36.200 Lindsay Swoboda: And that's my time like that's what I have like, carved and like, staked my like flag in the ground of being like this is my time, and yet

151 00:28:36.460 --> 00:28:48.189 Lindsay Swoboda: it has had to be an evolution this season because of like I mean of these like I'm not talking about waking up. I'm talking about like early wake ups you're like, why, now, and yet

152 00:28:48.480 --> 00:29:00.700 Lindsay Swoboda: this is a person that like is counting on me. And how do I work on regulating my own body and self around what we've got going on as a family? It is. It is the tension.

153 00:29:01.560 --> 00:29:19.559 Liz Fleming: Experience every second of the day. It takes a certain kind of strength, but I love that you're still. You know that I love that you know that about yourself, because not everyone does. And I talk about that. A lot on the show is having a level of self-awareness where

154 00:29:19.600 --> 00:29:42.090 Liz Fleming: you can pick up on those tells about yourself, and maybe you're not able to do something about them in the moment. But the fact that you're aware of them is helping you navigate, and it's helping you grow forward. And that's the goal, right? So I love hearing that. Thank you for sharing that. So before we go, because we talked so much about

155 00:29:42.550 --> 00:29:52.140 Liz Fleming: creativity and crafting our stories and putting ourselves out into the world. So what words of encouragement would you give those listening who

156 00:29:52.310 --> 00:29:56.899 Liz Fleming: maybe have always wanted to share their story or be more creative.

157 00:29:58.150 --> 00:30:05.989 Lindsay Swoboda: Goodness on being more creative. Let's start with that one. I would say there's opportunities. Just the opportunity abounds around you.

158 00:30:05.990 --> 00:30:06.400 Liz Fleming: To be.

159 00:30:06.400 --> 00:30:17.440 Lindsay Swoboda: More creative. I think it's that feeling. I describe it as the recess feeling like. Do you remember in elementary school like running towards that door and like hitting the metal bar and being like

160 00:30:18.090 --> 00:30:36.049 Lindsay Swoboda: out here. I think that is what we're looking for with our creativity. At least, that's what I'm looking for is this feeling of play like there is like really deep work that happens when I'm writing, but it also feels very playful to me, too, to be like. I get to like mess around with these words for a minute.

161 00:30:36.070 --> 00:30:50.760 Lindsay Swoboda: but that also means because that's my job. Now I have to play in other ways, and I am always looking for ways to do that. I love the artist's way. By Julia Cameron. If your listeners haven't picked that up yet. She has 3 books. I didn't realize there was like.

162 00:30:50.760 --> 00:30:51.230 Liz Fleming: Oh, wow!

163 00:30:51.562 --> 00:31:03.190 Lindsay Swoboda: Yeah, there's 2 more that come after that. There's 1 called like over here somewhere. Walking in this world is the second one, and the 3rd one I can't remember. It's something about water, but

164 00:31:03.350 --> 00:31:08.140 Lindsay Swoboda: those are great to pick up, and they're a little woo woo. But that's okay sometimes.

165 00:31:08.140 --> 00:31:09.870 Lindsay Swoboda: Oh, we're all about that.

166 00:31:09.870 --> 00:31:12.759 Lindsay Swoboda: Need a little woo to get us like shake us out.

167 00:31:13.310 --> 00:31:31.289 Lindsay Swoboda: But I'd say you're searching for that recess, feeling that isn't constrained, you know, and yes, we all have time, limits, and all these things keeping us back. But I also think like taking a walk outside, noticing. I like to think I'm a professional noticer, and that's what helps me be creative like I want to like.

168 00:31:31.610 --> 00:31:37.320 Lindsay Swoboda: Look at the dew on a blade of grass, and then I want to write a haiku about it like I am

169 00:31:38.408 --> 00:31:48.839 Lindsay Swoboda: but however, that looks like to you to be creative and play and realize there's a big part of yourself that needs to play, to be able to create and come to your business. Well.

170 00:31:49.470 --> 00:31:50.540 Lindsay Swoboda: so.

171 00:31:50.540 --> 00:31:57.620 Liz Fleming: I love that. And I, 100% agree just getting back to the roots of your inner child essence. And

172 00:31:57.780 --> 00:32:03.689 Liz Fleming: following that feeling, I know for me. It's like a physical feeling when I'm doing something creative.

173 00:32:04.080 --> 00:32:05.859 Liz Fleming: and it's like

174 00:32:06.100 --> 00:32:10.420 Liz Fleming: it's like a giddy I in my book I call it like a glittery, shimmery feeling. Cause it's.

175 00:32:10.420 --> 00:32:10.930 Lindsay Swoboda: Just a second.

176 00:32:10.930 --> 00:32:26.020 Liz Fleming: It's like bubbles and butterflies and joy, and I can't really describe it in any other way. But that's for me, that's it, and like that's the tell, and I follow it. And I think we talked about this, too, during work of words, how

177 00:32:26.210 --> 00:32:52.850 Liz Fleming: our children are like here to teach us things, and like I remember you saying that your son was sent here to remind you how to live boldly, and that's just like something that stayed with me forever. And now that my son is like oh, 3 and a half every day, he's just sent here to teach me a lesson, and remind me how to be a kid, and I'm just kind of leaning into that in terms of the play, and.

178 00:32:52.850 --> 00:33:01.900 Lindsay Swoboda: Yeah, I love that. I yeah, I feel like they help me. They help me see the world in such a a new light, right like they really

179 00:33:02.040 --> 00:33:07.210 Lindsay Swoboda: and me noticing them in that way, too, like being able to slow down enough to see them

180 00:33:07.380 --> 00:33:25.529 Lindsay Swoboda: or sit down and play with them. We don't have to be good at it to sit there for a few minutes right like. I think that's part of it, too, for me, and that's not shaming anybody that's like, I don't like to play with my kids like I don't love sitting down and playing Legos either. But, man, can I marvel at what they can create that I can't

181 00:33:25.690 --> 00:33:47.240 Lindsay Swoboda: right like getting to already see these little people that they're becoming, and then us creating on top of it with them around, I think. Yes, it adds another challenge, but it also makes me be super present to my life, and the time that I do have in a way that I don't know. I would if I would be if I wasn't in this season of like trying to do this with younger children, and then

182 00:33:47.630 --> 00:33:52.619 Lindsay Swoboda: thinking about what you said about. Oh, if someone wants to write a book, where do they go from that I think

183 00:33:53.200 --> 00:34:07.990 Lindsay Swoboda: it's really good to figure out. Do you have 50,000 words on the thing you think you want to write about? Try that 1st like, do I have enough to say, because I will tell you. My book was about home, to begin with, until I realized I did not have

184 00:34:08.449 --> 00:34:21.960 Lindsay Swoboda: 50,000 words on home, because home to me is not a physical place yet it's people and memories and stories. And so that's not where my chapters could go. So do you have enough to write a whole book on it.

185 00:34:23.659 --> 00:34:52.440 Lindsay Swoboda: and really sit there and like, don't be at a computer right away. Maybe sit with your notebook and go sit in some different places and outline with good old paper and pen, because there's something that unlocks differently when we're not pressured to make it feel professional, you know, like even I draft a lot of things on notebook paper first, st and yes, it takes longer, but I feel like I can see the pattern of the story or the essay better when I'm just sitting with it. And it doesn't feel like.

186 00:34:52.510 --> 00:34:54.959 Lindsay Swoboda: Oh, I'm typing an essay, you know.

187 00:34:54.969 --> 00:35:02.129 Liz Fleming: Yeah, yes, I agree. I loved writing with pen and paper, and when I started writing my book I was just

188 00:35:02.329 --> 00:35:19.819 Liz Fleming: mostly nap trapped, doing what I could, and a lot of it came honestly in the notes app on my phone. I was like, I'm 1 handed right now, and I just have this time, you know, just like away from my computer. But I love to. When I did have the time getting out and writing like

189 00:35:19.949 --> 00:35:25.149 Liz Fleming: on my deck with a pen and a journal was just so therapeutic.

190 00:35:25.269 --> 00:35:26.449 Liz Fleming: And

191 00:35:26.919 --> 00:35:41.239 Liz Fleming: I think just starting to like not getting so in your head about it. I agree about having something to write enough about, because Whoa, that's intimidating and like the outline, really helped me with that. I

192 00:35:41.619 --> 00:35:56.229 Liz Fleming: I was like thinking I had had like a few chapters, and then I was like, I don't know what to do. And then, you know, it was advised to have an outline, and that helped so much, and that was actually the fun part for me to like. See

193 00:35:56.559 --> 00:36:01.289 Liz Fleming: the skeleton outline of what it could be and like, rearrange it as you need.

194 00:36:01.290 --> 00:36:06.519 Lindsay Swoboda: Yes, I agree with that. I feel like I did that, too, like once I got the outline done.

195 00:36:07.170 --> 00:36:22.810 Lindsay Swoboda: and and it helps to write like for those people that are like, I think I'm even closer than just the idea. It really helps to go online and just look for templates for a book proposal and and make a book proposal like whether or not you send it out.

196 00:36:22.810 --> 00:36:42.230 Lindsay Swoboda: It's not about that. I think it's really about sitting with it, and saying, You know, can I fill in these blanks? And it it asks you questions of like what you really want? And who is your reader and helps you. Yeah, helps you move it from like, I want to write a book to, who do? I want to write a book for.

197 00:36:42.580 --> 00:36:45.571 Liz Fleming: Yeah, I agree. Such good advice.

198 00:36:46.600 --> 00:36:49.782 Liz Fleming: 100%. The whole process is just spin.

199 00:36:50.630 --> 00:37:05.050 Liz Fleming: So eye-opening, you know the fact that you can take a little nugget of an idea and just explode it into this web of stories and experiences is so cool.

200 00:37:05.310 --> 00:37:32.339 Liz Fleming: Lindsay, Swoboda, thank you for sharing your heart. And your stories with us today links to all of your things are in the show notes. So everyone should go grab her book, subscribe to her sub stack. It is so good. Follow her on social media. Her content is incredible, so heartfelt and compassionate, and so authentic, just like you, Lindsay. Thank you so much for being here. This was lovely.

201 00:37:32.550 --> 00:37:43.349 Lindsay Swoboda: Thank you so much. I was wondering if I can leave your listeners with an offering, and I didn't tell. Ask you this at the beginning, but as we were talking I was like, would you let me read them like a little tiny piece of the book

202 00:37:43.810 --> 00:37:45.559 Lindsay Swoboda: would go with this conversation.

203 00:37:45.560 --> 00:37:47.699 Liz Fleming: Yes, please do. I would love.

204 00:37:47.930 --> 00:38:15.070 Lindsay Swoboda: I will read quickly. But this was after I had a knee surgery. I tore my meniscus, and I had to go get my knee fixed, and then the doctor was like, Okay, you got your knee fixed, but you also have this arthritis starting. I was like, Oh, like you can help yourself, but you're going to have to work at it. So that's where we're coming into the this part in the story. I am talking with my husband after the health appointment, so

205 00:38:15.570 --> 00:38:23.999 Lindsay Swoboda: there is no check the box and I'm better. This is a renewed health commitment I have to make and maintain. I moan about the hardship of the last few years.

206 00:38:24.260 --> 00:38:32.530 Lindsay Swoboda: Ryan looks at me and again, and says, you're talking yourself out of it before you even begin. I hear you, but you know what you need to do.

207 00:38:32.730 --> 00:38:42.419 Lindsay Swoboda: I start making slow adjustments as, and I'm reading, and as I'm reading the Comfort Book by Matt Haig, after a Yoga session one morning I stumble upon this quote by Tara Breach.

208 00:38:42.830 --> 00:39:02.380 Lindsay Swoboda: Perhaps the biggest tragedy in our lives is the freedom is possible. Yet we can pass our years trapped in the same old patterns. We may want to love other people without holding back, to feel authentic, to breathe in the beauty around us to dance and sing, yet each day we listen to inner voices that keep our life small.

209 00:39:03.040 --> 00:39:21.140 Lindsay Swoboda: The last 2 years, and I was speaking about the pandemic here have been characterized by the fog of pandemic life, shrouding me in questions over each decision I've made. There have been swaths of anger and fear. But there have also been moments of deep gratitude, joy, and goodness that provide a place to plant the roots of hope.

210 00:39:21.460 --> 00:39:30.560 Lindsay Swoboda: When I talk with friends and family. We all have memories of celebrations and struggles that occurred in the last 2 years. We all have choreography. We've been dancing.

211 00:39:30.680 --> 00:39:32.320 Lindsay Swoboda: I need to check my rhythm.

212 00:39:32.460 --> 00:39:38.479 Lindsay Swoboda: Are my movements in harmony with the present? Or am I off step listening for the music of the past?

213 00:39:41.150 --> 00:39:44.589 Lindsay Swoboda: I just want to leave that with you guys because I don't know where what.

214 00:39:44.590 --> 00:39:45.200 Liz Fleming: Oh, my God!

215 00:39:45.200 --> 00:39:46.800 Lindsay Swoboda: Dancing to right now, you know.

216 00:39:47.430 --> 00:39:50.639 Lindsay Swoboda: Can you move into a new, a new dance for yourself?

217 00:39:51.050 --> 00:39:59.539 Liz Fleming: Was beautiful. You are such a beautiful writer, and I hope that you're recording your own audio book because I could listen to your voice all day.

218 00:39:59.540 --> 00:40:00.450 Liz Fleming: Thank you.

219 00:40:00.450 --> 00:40:10.690 Liz Fleming: special. Thank you for sharing that so well, well said, oh, my goodness, what a picture you painted! And you need to put that book of yours on that shelf behind you. By the way.

220 00:40:10.690 --> 00:40:15.460 Lindsay Swoboda: I will. You know what this is the painting that you can see behind me.

221 00:40:15.853 --> 00:40:16.640 Lindsay Swoboda: Familiar? Yeah.

222 00:40:16.640 --> 00:40:35.939 Lindsay Swoboda: the cover. Oh, my gosh! But I my dad actually got me a shadow box for the book, which is gorgeous, but I can't have it like right in front of my desk, because it feels kind of pressurey, like, I need to look at the painting instead and be like, okay, hopefully, the next one won't take 7 years. But if it does, that's okay.

223 00:40:35.940 --> 00:40:40.480 Liz Fleming: Yes, that's okay. It's so funny because I was like that. Painting is so familiar that.

224 00:40:40.480 --> 00:40:51.419 Lindsay Swoboda: Yep, yep, Lindsay Wilkins was the artist of the cover of my book, and if I will will also throw her a plug, that she is an amazing artist and also a military spouse. So check out Lindsay Wilkins.

225 00:40:51.420 --> 00:40:58.910 Liz Fleming: Amazing. Thank you so much for that share and your time. This was such a beautiful conversation. Thank you.

226 00:40:59.190 --> 00:41:03.140 Lindsay Swoboda: Thank you for having me, Liz. It's so inspiring, and I'm always cheering you on.

Did that go by too fast? No worries. You can always find me over at elisabethfleming.com for more information about my programs, events, and how you can take your learning further with me. If you loved this episode, leave a review. It helps more than you know.

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Ep. 80: Signs of spiritual awakening (PLUS, MY NEW BOOK!)